nature.

This afternoon (Sunday Dec. 7), I climbed to the top of a huge dirt hill at the top of my driveway without shoes on, and sat laid on my back in the dirt for approximately 40 minutes. It's a steep hill, and bits of its mustard-colored, dry, chalky surface crumbled as I stumbled up its side. There was nothing special about this hill. It was dry, with lots of small, brittle brush-like plants and soft, powdery dust beneath my bare-feet. So there I was, laying and thinking.

When I first got there, I hesitated. Lay? 

In the dirt? Ew. But I knew if I sat, I would fidget, move until I got comfortable, become uncomfortable again, move again, get distracted. Anyone who knows me well can tell you how easily I get lost focus from something I should be doing,

especially if it doesn't really interest me. I also knew if I laid down, I could look up at the sky. So I just thought "oh well" and did it. I could shower later, wash my clothes, who cared? It weird as it sounds, it was refreshing to be in the dirt. Gross, sure, but kind of liberating.

It was really hard for a while not to think about anything that I experienced over the weekend or would soon have to this coming week, but I tried to avoid the superficial, arguably

 meaningless events and just think instead about the deeper, significant lessons behind them. I personally have an especially difficult time just clearing my mind completely; there is always something there that will creep into my head and won't let me just, be. This weekend had been an especially

 stressful, long, and emotionally involved one, so I had a really hard time making sure I didn't dwell on those things, and not letting them affect me when I was up there on that hill. I found myself questioning my priorities, and society's definition of what your priorities should be. I thought about where I factor into my own priorities. I guess you can say I thought about a lot.

Overall, it was nice to clear my mind. Thank you, Nature.

friendsies!

Being an Emersonian friend wasn't really as different as I thought it would be. At least with my best friends, that is.

I have a few friends that I am so close to, I feel like I can tell them mostly anything. When I'm frustrated with something they've done, I tell them why I'm annoyed. Well, at least I usually do. Other times, I have a tendency to not talk to them about something that's bothering me, and instead vent what I'm thinking to other people. This helps me calm myself down, but it really doesn't help my friend at all. I guess this is what Emerson was trying to avoid, huh? I agree with that part of Emerson's opinion on friendship; I would hate to be on the other side of a situation like that. I guess the point of this experiment was to see what friendship could be in the eyes of Emerson. Good thing I have amazingly incredibly friends to begin with! :)

Being an Emersonian friend for a day didn't change much, since I generally have a very open, close relationship with my friends. I can see how it would change other interactions, however.

Self-Reliance

"We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of the divine idea which each of us represents."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think this quote is very relevant in today's and will probably stay that way forever. It's one of those rare, timeless ideas (I know, cliché word choice, but it fit) that makes sense and people 

can relate to in any time period. It is human nature to be uncomfortable with or unsure of oneself, and it is expected that people will hold back and only show the part of themselves that is 

"socially acceptable" or "normal". People are conditioned to make sure they don't do anything that would make them stand out too much. If we don't take chances, we don't get consequences, good or bad. We as a society (for the most part, at least) are just not willing to take that risk.

This is rather sad, in my opinion. 

I know I personally fall under the category of "guilty of not being true to myself" in some situations (but then again, who isn't?), but for the most part, I try my hardest to just be, well, me. I can't stand it when people are fake. There are a lot of people who completely change their personalities in different social situations, which is fine, as long as it's not just a forced facade worn for the purpose of being accepted. You could very well have certain parts of your personality relate to certain people more than others and shine through in those circumstances, for instance. If so, lovely. I just don't like it when people deliberately try to act a certain way in order to be accepted. What's the point in being accepted if it's not for who you truly are? Then you'd have to keep up the false act you originally introduced; it just seems like a waste of time and energy.

I think a big part of Emerson's Self-Reliance is self-consciousness. Not necessarily in a negative sense, however, though that's the connotation the term is almost always labeled with. To be self-conscious could mean, quite literally, conscious of oneself. As in, aware of who you truly are, and comfortable with it. Self-consciousness (in the Emersonian sense, of course) sounds good to me.